I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
