you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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