She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
