How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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