How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
