Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
