YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
