therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
