WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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