I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
