You just made me feel so damn special
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
