I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
