She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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