Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize