he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
