So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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