dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
