Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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