i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
