I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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