I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
