Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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