nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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