He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
