He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
