I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
