just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if only i could text you this smell
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
