I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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