I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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