Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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