some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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