i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
