gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
