Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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