I wish I only lived at night.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
