Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
