so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
