the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
