One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
