I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
