I heard we made out
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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