In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
