Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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