You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
