Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
