I smell stomach acid.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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