I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
