Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
