i barfeds in our rink
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
