I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
