Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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