the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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